The characters belong to Studios USA and Renaissance Pictures and were used without permission. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made.
Explicit male/female and female/female sexual situations. NC-17. I'm on a streak lately and it makes me worry about myself.
Author's Notes, aka Warnings: Okay, there are several...
-Number one, this is total PWP. Normally I make an effort to get inside the characters' heads and explain what they're feeling and why they're doing this. Not this time. So don't go looking for anything that resembles my usual MO, here.
-Number two, this story contains explicit scenes of the following nature: m/f, f/f, and m/f/f. If any of those hit you the wrong way, you're probably out of luck, because this is so short that they all kind of happen at about the same time so you can't skim them like you can in the longer really good ones.
- Number three, and this I think is where I'll lose most of ya, one of the f's in the f/f pairing is really, really, really pregnant. I put her at about 7 months. Now personally *I* think pregnant women are sexy. And Lucy in particular I thought was just GORGEOUS when she was preggers, so to me, this story holds nothing offensive at all. If it does to you, um, picture her as - three months pregnant. Maybe it'll help. ;)
- Number four, which is just a note, not a warning: I had this idea MONTHS ago, somewhere around January (actually before Lyre aired, 'cause I hadn't thought of the "hook" yet), but wasn't sure I'd ever get it written. What *did* inspire me to get it written was joining SUJE and talking (and reading) Xena/Joxer stuff... I considered writing a X/J story, but soon realized I just couldn't, 'cause I don't think I can write romance between them (I just don't see them that way). For some reason, however, intense sex scenes with a third partner, I can manage. So the threesome story was written in the course of two nights. Sheesh.
- Number five: This is NOT, repeat NOT, a Pillow Talk story. I know, fairly obvious, but just in case anyone was confused. *G*
Enjoy, and please, don't kill over the ending. Complain all you want, but please to no kill! (I have a cat!)
Timeline: Directly after "Lyre, Lyre". Like, the night after.
You can also find Xebbie's stories at The GJerotica Archives and Xebbie's Adult Fics
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With Friends Like These...
© 02/01 by Xebbie
Xena awoke, slightly confused, to a noise. She wasn't sure what the noise had been - it had been on the very fringes of her consciousness as she'd awoken - but she knew she'd heard it. It took some effort to rouse herself, as the late stage of her pregnancy was sapping a lot of energy, and she'd worn herself out earlier during the Battle of the Bands. Still trying to shake off her grogginess, she crept out of the small room she'd taken in Melodia's finest inn and took off down the corridors.
The noise, she felt sure, had come from Gabrielle's room. For one thing, her friend's room was right next door, so it made sense that she would hear something from there. For another, she made a point to listen out for Gabrielle in case trouble found her - it was almost futile now, since the erstwhile bard was now very nearly a better fighter than she was, but the habit died hard.
And as a third piece of proof that the noise had originated from this room, various scuffling sounds and muffled noises of activity were still coming from within.
Well, that clinched it. Whatever she'd heard - it came from in here.
Best to check for trouble before just bursting in, she reasoned. Steeling herself, Xena eased the door open slowly and silently, enough so that she was able to slip past. With a slightly disgruntled face she noted that the door had to open about three times as wide as it normally would have for her to slip inside, and finally just gave up and let the whole damn thing swing open.
The couple on the bed took absolutely no notice of her intrusion, and for once in her life Xena felt distinctly awkward as she stared. At Gabrielle. Straddling Joxer. And both were buck naked. Very naked, and very... taking advantage of that.
This wasn't exactly the kind of trouble she'd been expecting.
If they had any idea that she was even there, they didn't show it, as they just continued their... prior activity. Quite enthusiastically, at that. Wow. By the Gods, they did look good together, didn't they? She wondered if this was their first time together... If so, it looked like they were working out a LOT of repressed tensions.
Gabrielle moaned, and Xena belatedly recognized *this* as the sound that had awoken her. Geeze... She felt like a moron. And why was she *watching* this?! This was private! Any second now they were going to turn around and see her and panic.
*Well,* she thought a little distractedly as Gabrielle brought herself down heavily on Joxer's slender hips, *maybe any MINUTE now, rather than second.* They sure as hell did seem distracted.
By the GODS.
Her breathing was heavy before long, as Gabrielle took hold of the mattress of the bed beneath them and rode him hard, gritting her teeth, letting out a keening moan that built in volume before breaking into a ragged cry. Joxer grinned at her, and even from the distance Xena was at she could see the love in his eyes and his face, before he threw back his head and gasped her name, lifting his hips and thrusting into her a few final times.
The couple came down, panting, gazing at each other with big stupid happy smiles, and Xena started backing for the door.
"Gabby," Joxer murmured, his voice low, and his love seemed about to reply when she turned her head sharply, evidently catching Xena's movements on the far side of the room.
"Xena!" She stared. Joxer stared. The Warrior Princess stared, then lowered her eyes and cleared her throat.
"Um - *cough* 'Scuse me," she said huskily, and turned quickly.
"No wait! Xena!" Both her friends called as she turned her back to them, and she heard a slight thudding as Gabrielle bounded from the bed, evidently forgetting her nudity in her haste to catch up. "Don't - don't go like this."
Xena struggled to hold her eyes on Gabrielle's face. *Anyone* would be tempted to stare, especially when she had raging hormonal problems and no outlet of any kind for the past few *years*. She shook her head. "Gabrielle, it's not a problem. You and Joxer have... found each other, whatever, I respect that. You know where to reach me if you need me." *Not likely,* she thought, frowning. With them having that kind of sex, it seemed unlikely that she'd see much of either one of them anymore.
Gabrielle fidgeted, biting her lip and twisting her fingers in a way that set her breasts swinging, not that Xena was looking. "It's not what you think."
Shooting a glance back at Joxer, Xena saw that the awkward warrior had pulled a bit of the bedspread into his lap and was sitting up, watching them both with an uncertain expression on his face. He did have the smoothest-looking skin - and she hadn't realized how muscular he actually was underneath the armour. She sighed, shaking herself, and nodded at him. "Night, Joxer."
"It's really okay, Xena - please don't go yet," he said hesitantly, looking back at Gabrielle for help.
"Listen, both of you." Xena cut them off firmly. "I don't have a problem with this - I think it's about damn time. I'm not angry, I'm not upset, although I'll admit I'm feeling a bit less than comfortable at the moment..."
Blushing, Gabrielle looked down at herself and her eyes widened. "Oh yeah. Um, I should cover up, shouldn't I...?"
"Uh, no...?" Joxer said quietly from across the room. Xena tried to hide her smirk, as well as fight down the urge to agree with him, as Gabrielle turned and threw an unidentifiable piece of clothing at him, bouncing as she did.
She smiled, looking at the door instead of the exposed flesh. "That's not what I'm uncomfortable with," she said reassuringly, lying through her teeth. After all, normally it would be true; normally her hormones weren't flaring and telling her to get an eyeful of practically anything on two legs. Smiling a trifle more tightly now, she said, "I just - didn't mean to impose on your privacy. You obviously have things you need to, ah... work out."
"Xena," Gabrielle said warmly, her moment of self-consciousness gone, "there's nothing to be sorry about. Joxer and I decided, after the whole thing with Amoria, that we needed to talk."
Joxer snorted from the bed. "YOU decided..."
"Okay," she said tolerantly, rolling her eyes, "*I* decided we needed to talk. So we came up here to my room, and... talked."
"Evidently you came to an understanding," Xena mumbled, her gaze flicking back to Joxer as he yawned and stretched over the bed, the sheets falling away from him. *Oh damn. THAT is gonna stay with me during long nights,* she thought, her eyes passing quickly over the part of Joxer which Gabrielle had most recently enjoyed.
"Um..." Gabrielle looked away, biting her lip to fight off a grin. "Well, no - we, um, kind of got carried away before we came to any kind of decision." She looked back at him and beamed; Joxer apparently was taking Xena's comment about not being intimidated by their nudity quite seriously, because he stood up and joined Gabrielle, no longer the least bit shy. Xena felt herself flushing, and bit the inside of her cheek.
"I said no strings, right...?" he purred as he put his arms around her, and nuzzled at her throat. Gabrielle's eyes fluttered shut and she stroked the back of his neck, throwing her head back and sighing.
"Mmm. Maybe some rope though..." She giggled, and Joxer made an interested murmur and trailed his lips down her body, bending and kissing just between the tops of her breasts.
Xena coughed. "I'll just, um, go. I'll go." She fumbled for the door, opening it and hitting herself in the face.
Gabrielle grinned, leaning against the door and shutting it again with her weight. "Xena looks flustered, Joxer. Have you ever seen her look flustered?" He stood up again, just behind Gabrielle, and shook his head. "Are you okay, Xena?"
"I - I um..." *Snap out of it, idiot!* She felt like a total fool. "Well, I mean, with you guys - and it's been... *whew* a really long time..."
"Hmm," Joxer said, his lips pursing into a leer. "That thing we talked about?" Gabrielle nodded.
Xena backed up a step as Joxer and Gabrielle separated, and converged on her. "That... thing?"
"It's hard for you, isn't it, Xena?" Gabrielle said sympathetically, putting her arms around her friend's shoulders and resting her head next to her cheek. "I've heard that pregnant women have all these... urges."
"Real shame," Joxer agreed, nodding, standing at Xena's other side and stroking a finger down one bare arm. "We were talking, and, uh... thought maybe, ya know, since you're such a good friend..."
"Oh Gods," Xena breathed, as he pressed his lips against her neck, kissing gently as he swept her hair over her back.
Gabrielle finished the sentence. "Maybe we could help you with that problem. Because we'd hate to see you suffer." She smirked, as Joxer suckled at the base of Xena's neck, and the dark-haired warrior woman looked at her with smoky blue eyes. "Joxer was happy to volunteer." The corners of her mouth twitched as she leaned closer. "And so was I." She cocked an eyebrow, running a hand over Xena's enlarged belly that was covered by the maternity tunic she now wore to bed, and placed a kiss behind her friend's ear. "You're going to enjoy this," she promised, whispering hotly into Xena's ear, and licked her earlobe.
Xena moaned - this had all very quickly gotten very surreal. The two sets of lips travelled over her upper body, and hands caressed and stroked and at times squeezed all over - it seemed as if there were much more than just four. She didn't even know whose hands were at her breasts, or whose mouth was over hers, nor did she care at that moment.
Gabrielle stepped back, lifting the tunic by the hem, and slipped it off of Xena's body as Joxer stooped and stripped her of her underwear. He knelt in front of her, running his fingers over her hips and thighs and stomach, grinning up at her and Gabrielle as his fingers slipped between her legs almost daintily.
"Kneel," Gabrielle murmured, pressing at Xena's shoulders.
The warrior shook her head. "It's not - my knees aren't strong enough..."
"I'll help you," Gabrielle said, smiling, and pulled her to a squatting position. "It'll be so worth it, I promise." Joxer followed, then lay prone on his back and slid beneath her; he reached up and stroked his finger within her folds, back and forth a few times, before stretching up until he could reach her with his tongue. Xena gasped, squinching her eyes shut, and Gabrielle coached her - "Down a little more, thaaat's it - ooh, let him breathe... theeeere you go. Oh you like that, don't you."
Letting out a shuddering breath, Xena turned to her friend. "I'm not... a toddler, Gabrielle," she said, grinning ferally. "I know what I like... without you telling me." She arched a little, grinding down onto Joxer's hyper-expressive mouth. "MMM - and I like *that.*"
"Oh, I can see that you do," the blonde purred, capturing one of her friend's breasts as it swayed, and running her thumb over the nipple. "How about that?"
"That's... mmm, not bad..." Her breasts were tender already, borderline sore at times, and this sudden arousal hadn't helped them any. Gabrielle's loving handling added to their tenderness, but somehow it helped it, as well - they ached, but they ached to be touched, and she almost whimpered with relief when the bard's lips and tongue replaced her fingers - circling the nipple, stroking softly, but no actual suckling or rough handling. "Ahhhhh... Gabrielle..." The licking at her nether regions increased in force, and she gasped. "Okay, okay, and Joxer too. ...You didn't have to stop..."
His hands went around her thighs, clasping her closer and probing her more deeply with his tongue. She gasped, leaning forward, and put her hand to Gabrielle's cheek, lifting her from her breasts. Swooping down, she planted a kiss on her best friend's lips, more of a 'thank you' kiss than a truly passionate one; her lips smacked against the bard's full ones, and caught there, before Gabrielle ran her tongue along Xena's lower lip and their kiss deepened wetly.
She broke it to explore Gabrielle lower, licking along her jaw and down her throat, but the bard pulled away before she could get very far. "I think it's time Joxer got some attention, don't you?" she grinned, aglow and nearly vibrating with desire, and she travelled down Joxer's body and ran her hand along his legs, between his thighs, and finally over the quite pleasantly large centerpiece. Wrapping her fingers around it, Gabrielle smiled, winked at Xena, and began to squeeze rhythmically. Joxer clenched his fingers against Xena's hips, arching his own slightly, and his tongue thrust into her more forcefully than before.
Continuing the torture for only a brief while longer, Gabrielle soon bent, brushing her lips lightly over the tip of his hardening organ in a light kiss. Her tongue flicked out, sliding over the head, and she slowly slid her mouth down over him a bit at a time. Joxer's own mouth fell away from Xena's womanhood, and he gasped as Gabrielle's lips brought him to a state of weeping arousal.
Xena lifted her hips, crawling back slightly and leaning to her left until she could see Joxer around her swollen belly. His hair in disarray, he looked up at her and grinned. "Hey."
"I thought you might want to watch," she murmured, indicating Gabrielle as she worked at his manhood, her lips dedicatedly smothering his flesh. He nodded weakly, propping himself up on an elbow, and his other hand found its way back between Xena's legs, keeping her at a constant level of need. He worked three fingers into her as together they watched him disappear into Gabrielle's talented mouth; Xena wondered where on earth the bard had gotten this kind of skill at giving head, because she had a technique going here. Gods - with the way Joxer was handling her, Xena had a feeling she was getting as much arousal out of this was Joxer himself was.
The smaller woman looked up at them, her wide green eyes flashing as she deep-throated him, then sucked hard. Joxer cried out, lost his balance, and fell backwards. Gabrielle took this as her cue to stop, and she pulled her mouth up, grinning. "There you go. All ready." She crawled up towards them, back up Joxer's body, and grinned playfully when she reached his mouth. "Someone's having a good night."
"Someone oughta make you jealous more often," he returned, just before she growled and kissed him, and the raw passion in the kiss took Xena's breath away. Good Gods, they were *intense* together. Gabrielle brought her hips down, pressing her sex against his amazing erection, and they moved together for a matter of moments, the blonde's short hair tickling the insides of Xena's thighs.
"No - oh, stop, or I won't want to share," she said finally, lifting her head and panting, breaking her rhythm with her new lover. She kissed Xena's belly as she rose.
"You were never good at sharing," Xena said roughly, pursing her lips and smirking, and Gabrielle kissed her furiously in retaliation, her tongue pushing past the darker warrior's lips. Xena could taste herself on the bard's tongue, passed on from Joxer's kiss, her flavour mingling with the taste of Gabrielle's mouth. Determined not to let Gabrielle call *all* the shots, she leaned closer, sucking at the other's tongue fervently. Gabrielle moaned into her mouth, leaning forward herself, her breasts swinging and her nipples brushing across Xena's skin like hot buttons.
Below them, Joxer whimpered. "Um... can I share too?"
The two women grinned, and knelt down to him. Gabrielle took his hand and placed it against her breast, her expression openly fond, and Joxer took the invitation eagerly, kneading the soft globe of flesh as he beamed at her in adoration.
Xena ran a finger down his cheek, smiling softly at the beautiful man beside her, and he turned to her with anticipation and - love, she thought - glowing in his eyes. "One thing I've been missing," she murmured, and delivered to him the same grateful kiss she'd given Gabrielle. He returned it in the same manner - softly, not pressing the matter, simply returning the gentle nudges she made at his lips.
She kept it simple as long as she could, before curiosity got the better of her and she licked beseechingly at his lips, questing for entrance to his mouth. He gave it, parting his lips and meeting her tongue with his own, and the exploratory kiss deepened quickly into intense passion. When she pulled back, Joxer's eyes met hers, and she tried to convey all she was feeling just then - all the emotions she was so clumsy at putting into words. There was a feeling here, a completeness, she'd never been aware of before this moment.
Gabrielle bent down next to them, nuzzling against Joxer's cheek, and kissed his ear and nose as Xena kissed his lips again; then he turned his head and paid attention to the rather insistent blonde, and Xena kissed down his neck, licking him, enjoying the flavour of his skin. He turned back to her, kissed the top of her head, and put his arm around her shoulders.
"I think it's time we put an end to that love-free zone of yours, Xena," Gabrielle purred, stretching over Joxer's body, deliberately letting her nipples graze his chest. She took hold of Xena's shoulder, guiding her down the masculine form stretched between them.
"Um..." Joxer sounded uncertain, although Xena's back was to him. "Hey, wait - what if I, uh, hit the baby?"
Xena snickered; the baby was a couple of months away from being born, she'd figured she still had a while before she had to worry about Joxer being clumsy with it. Gabrielle took his length in her hand again, running her thumb over the tip, and with her eyes invited Xena to do the same.
"That's why she's on top," the queen of the Amazons explained. "She controls it and you won't go in too far." Joxer shuddered, as two hands caressed and squeezed his manhood, and a third slipped downward, massaging his balls. Grinning, Gabrielle said conspiratorially to Xena, "Sensory overload."
She seemed to have the concept down perfectly, as well as the art of duality in pleasure, since her hands never stopped working on Joxer even as she leant and tongued Xena's breast again. She only moved one hand when she pulled at one of Xena's legs, bringing it over Joxer's hip and forcing the warrior to straddle him, facing out over his legs.
"You want it...?" she breathed, still stroking Joxer, and running her fingers along Xena's inner thighs. "You have to really *want* it..."
"Um," Joxer panted weakly from behind them, reaching to them as best as he could manage and waving his hand, "*I* want it..."
Gabrielle frowned cutely. "XENA has to say it."
Xena lost her patience and rolled her eyes. "Dammit, Gabrielle, quit fucking around, will ya?"
"Okay, okay, you want it," Gabrielle said, surprised amusement in her voice. She went down on Joxer again briefly, engulfing his member entirely, swirling her tongue around it until it was slick with her saliva, and ignored Joxer's tight moan as she pulled Xena forward. "Here," she said, guiding it towards the pregnant warrior's entrance, "you'll have to tilt forward a little... mmm, nice and ready, goooood." Xena gasped, as Joxer's phallus pushed into her at last - Gods, it was the first time in *years*, and she really had been regretting the lack of this experience in the conception of her baby. "Oh... oh that's hot," Gabrielle muttered, as Xena slid herself down on Joxer's shaft, moaning quietly.
"Xena," Joxer gasped, running his hands down her back, and she wondered why the bard had directed her to be turned away from him during their tryst.
She shook herself, establishing a rhythm above him, "Oh - you two are the best friends a pregnant gal ever had..."
Giggling, Gabrielle got up on her knees and moved over, settling back down directly between Joxer's legs. "Front row seats!" she said brightly, snaking a hand down between her own legs and stroking herself slowly.
"Ah... that explains it," Xena said, smirking slightly. "Nasty girl..."
"More than you think," she returned wickedly, lowering her head, and blew a puff of cool air over the slickened erogenous zones of her two copulating best friends. Xena threw her head back, grinning deliriously, and Joxer cried out, straining to lift his hips underneath Xena. Gabrielle settled down on one elbow, her backside raised in the air as her other hand worked at her loins much more quickly than before, and ran her tongue over what she could of Joxer's manhood, then lifted her mouth to the spot of the union between her friends.
"Ah - Gab..." Joxer gasped, his voice choked, and Xena couldn't manage to say anything at all as the bard's tongue swirled over them both, touching different parts from moment to moment as his place within her shifted. Gabrielle put a delicate, shaking hand on Xena's thigh, and licked up the length of her sex, finally reaching the warrior's already well-worked clit and running in gentle, maddening circles around it before dropping back to Joxer, where from the young man's gasps Xena assumed she was administering much the same treatment.
Xena leaned backwards a little, and Joxer's hands caught her and held her up as she rocked over him. Gabrielle moved her attentions back to her entrance, lapping fervently and rather noisily at them both as Joxer slid in and out of her, and Xena realized she was finding it hard to feel exactly where she ended and he began; the tongue, the slickness, it was as if they were all part of one thing. Oh, she was close, thank the Gods; between Joxer's loving penetration, and Gabrielle's willing mouth, she was damn close and she could sense that both her friends were as well.
"GabriELLE!" she called, hissing as if she'd been burned when the bard latched her mouth over her clit again, this time sucking directly at the sensitive nub. Although all Xena could really see of her best friend was her backside and the hand that was clinging to her thigh, she knew from Gabrielle's pacing just how close the bard was to her climax. "Gods - don't stop," she rasped, pleading.
The mouth broke contact a moment later, however, and she felt Gabrielle panting against her leg. "Xena... Joxer... Gods, you're both so - " From Joxer's reaction, and the slight pressure Xena somehow felt within herself, she guessed that the sentence had been left unfinished because Gabrielle's mouth was busy again.
After a few moments more, Gabrielle's tongue returned to them both one final time, this time apparently to stay. Xena could feel from above how heavy Joxer's breathing was; he was close, too. She had the eeriest feeling that they were all nearing orgasm at once, as if it would be one huge simultaneous three-way climax; not impossible, but damn unlikely. And the strangest part of all was that she felt in tune to it from each of them, the arousal of all three of them flowing through her - she wasn't just guessing that Joxer and Gabrielle were close, she *knew*, as surely as she knew herself. It was as though... she *were* all three of them...
But she couldn't bring herself to care. Right now the entire world was centred on one specific area of her body, and she loved her friends, and she was close - she was so... fucking... close... She squeezed her eyes shut as she came, the orgasm flooding her body, washing away her awareness of her surroundings, and it took an effort to even gasp.
Xena opened her eyes, breathing so hard she was nearly panting, and was surprised for several moments to find herself alone. She blinked, trying to reconcile the muddy images from her dream a few moments ago with the vivid leftovers of arousal she was still coming down from. Finally it clicked, and she growled. "Aw, shit."
She lay alone in her bed at Melodia's finest inn, catching her breath after what had felt like a rather large orgasm, physically satisfied and emotionally empty. After a few moments of discomfort she finally peeled the sheets back from her decidedly sticky body and let herself cool off.
Damn, those dreams were getting more intense every time. And she wasn't sure what to think of the fact that she never seemed to dream of Hercules, or Borias, or even Lao Ma... oh no... always Gabrielle. Or Joxer. Or both, like tonight. More and more often, both. It had better be hormones, she thought, pressing her lips together sternly. It had damn well *better*.
Maybe, she hoped, she'd actually be able to fall asleep again after this one. And hopefully this time, she'd be able to look at Gabrielle and Joxer without faltering tomorrow morning.
Well... *that* might take some effort.