Author: G. Bonobo
Story Title: What Joxer Saw
Characters: Iolaus & Nebula, Hercules/Autolycus, Xena/Gabrielle, Ares/Joxer, Meg
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Hot night in the village.
This rating is for explicit f/f, m/f and m/m sex.

The characters belong to Studios USA and Renaissance Pictures and were used without permission. No copyright infringement was intended and no money was made.

This story contains explicit descriptions of male/male, male/female and female/female sexual relations.

You can find more stories by G. Bonobo at The Joxerotica Archives


What Joxer Saw
by G. Bonobo

Joxer hummed to himself as he walked. Soon he would see Gabrielle again. He patted the small wrapped box tucked into his clothing and anticipated the look on the blond bard's face when she opened it. Xena and Gabrielle had been camped not far from here when he'd left them yesterday morning. Xena had expressed a desire to stop a few days in the next village along the coast to rest and buy supplies. A pair of women and a horse traveling together were easy to track. Everyone remembered the tall, striking warrior woman and her charming companion, even if the name "Xena" never crossed their lips.

Joxer loved Gabrielle, and had given their relationship (or lack of one) a lot of thought. The young woman had a good thing going, traveling around with Xena. Gabrielle got to participate in all the adventures that Joxer could only dream of, and she was making quite a name for herself as a bard by composing grand epics featuring her legendary traveling companion. In her shoes, Joxer wouldn't want to settle down just yet, no matter who loved her with a desperate devotion.

Therefore, Joxer had a plan. He would go to her, and while she was still speechless by the gift, Joxer would say what he had to. He might not be the famous bard that Gabrielle was, but Joxer knew how to string words together to make his meaning clear. "Gabrielle," he would say to the woman he loved so desperately, "I love you. I understand you don't want to settle down just yet, but whenever you are ready, I will be here for you. I will wait forever if I have to."

It was a simple speech, short and, Joxer believed, elegant. Still humming, Joxer strolled through the crude gates of the marginally defended village, and began searching for his love, so that he might speak the words in his heart.

He started at the docks, scanning the crowd of sailors and merchants swarming about. A short blond man moved through the crowd. Joxer waved at Iolaus, then stopped abruptly, feeling stupid. Iolaus had other things on his mind.


Iolaus felt the impact of a lithe, muscular body before he saw the grinning face of the pirate Nebula over his shoulder. Reaching down with a long-fingered hand, she squeezed his testicles gently. "Hiya, short stuff. You busy?"

Iolaus felt his cock stiffen, despite the embarrassment of being groped in such a public place. "Uh... ahem... I mean... what did you have in mind?" On the dock, several sailors whistled and pantomimed crude copulation.

"I thought we might... talk. Privately." Nebula's toothy grin quirked promisingly as Iolaus reached behind him to feel warm skin and soft leather. "Your place," she added.

"Herc and I have a room at the inn."

"Good." Releasing her willing victim, Nebula let the compactly built fighter lead the way.

In the room, Iolaus unlaced his boots and shrugged out of his patchwork leather vest as Nebula stripped herself without preamble. Reaching out, Iolaus pinched one of her dusky nipples before flattening his palms against her sporty breasts. He felt her fish expertly for the ties on his breeches, and soon he was as naked as she.

"You know what I want," Nebula told him in a low, throaty whisper.

Iolaus tripped the tall woman onto the straw pallet, and landed on top of her. "It's been too damn long."

The pair attacked each other with the unrestrained fervor of simple lust. Soon, Nebula was dripping wetly on the blankets and Iolaus, harder than he had ever thought possible, was plunging into her, eliciting satisfied groans and grunts. They thrust blindly for what seemed like eternity, until with a banshee shriek and a hoarse cry intermingled, they came simultaneously.

"The gods may not have blessed you with height, but they sure made up for it in length and width," Nebula panted as Iolaus brushed his sweat soaked hair away from his forehead.

"The gods have blessed you with muscles in the most interesting places," Iolaus countered before plunging his tongue playfully into her mouth.

Nebula felt the smaller man's cock grow hard again, and thanked all the gods responsible for throwing Iolaus into her path again.


Outside the door, Hercules leaned against the wall, trembling. Frustrated, the hero pushed at his rigid cock, willing it to soften. He'd returned to the room, hoping to find Iolaus willing to spar with him. Sometimes it seemed that his practice fights with his boyhood friend were the only physical contact he got anymore. He had not expected to see Iolaus and Nebula close the door behind them. Curiously, Herc had approached the room he shared with his friend to hear the unmistakable sounds of passion. Wild passion, at that.

Hercules had witnessed a certain amount of flirtation between his friend and the Amazonian pirate queen, but had not suspected they would ever consummate their relationship. In his secret heart, Herc was jealous, but he couldn't decide who he was more jealous of, Iolaus for enjoying Nebula's forbidden fruit, or Nebula, for inspiring Iolaus' wild side.

As the couple inside began their second round of orgasmic overture, Hercules crept away from the door, cursing himself for wanting too much. Pushing at his swelling loins only increased the torment, but he tried again to hide the evidence of his frustrated desire.


Joxer ordered a "Sumerian Sunrise" at the bar, but all they had was wine or goat's milk. Joxer accepted the goat's milk, ignoring the chuckles from those around him, saying that goat's milk was a child's drink.

He never even noticed when Hercules walked in and quickly found a table in the corner of the common room.

Hercules sat, hoping that no-one would look too carefully at what he was doing with his hands under the table. A sudden shift in the crowd around the bar revealed a familiar form.

"Autolycus!" Hercules called from his corner, spoiling the King of Thieves ' concentration.

"Hercules. I should have guessed you'd be here to ruin my fun." Shrugging, Autolycus managed to hide the evidence of his theft up a sleeve before joining the broad-shouldered hero in the corner. "So, why are you playing with yourself in the corner?"

Hercules colored, and refused to meet Autolycus' eyes.

"What?!? You really were playing with yourself? Why? Iolaus finally run off with Xena or something?" Autolycus' wild guesses kept hitting Hercules where it hurt.

"Not Xena," Herc mumbled.

The King of Thieves laughed mirthlessly. "I'm really in top form today. Maybe I should give of thieving and take up spying. I'm having much better luck appropriating information than dinars today." Eyeing the muscular hero's distress, Autolycus felt a twinge of something he thought he had suppressed long ago. "Come on, a gorgeous, good looking hunk of man such as yourself should have no trouble at all getting any ma- er, woman he wants." The tone of his words was acid, but the look in the thief's eyes was pained.

"We can't talk here," Hercules insisted.

"I left my gear in the stables," Auto offered. Hercules nodded, and followed the flamboyantly dressed criminal.

Perched awkwardly on the edge of a feed trough, Hercules and Autolycus sat side by side. A moment passed, and then Autolycus spoke. "That looks painful. You should have someone look at that." With all the agility the master thief possessed, Autolycus placed his hand on Hercules aching cock. Before Herc realized what was happening, Autolycus began massaging the swollen member.

"Wait..." Hercules choked out, his hands moving reflexively to cover his groin. All he did was trap Autolycus' hand where it moved.

The King of Thieves met the demi-god's eyes pleadingly. "Please. Let me."

Hercules was shocked by the tenderness he saw in Autolycus' eyes, mesmerized by his earnest expression. Herc released Auto's hand deliberately, and closed his eyes. A moment later he felt a breeze caress his naked thighs, as Autolycus got on his knees and proceeded to suckle the hero's godlike sexual organ.

The first touch of Autolycus' soft, wet mouth on his cock sent shivers quaking through Hercules. With a gentle expertise Autolycus ministered with licks and sucking, easing and arousing simultaneously. Giving himself permission to enjoy the sensation, Hercules rode the wave of passion building in him, and didn't even think to pretend that the mouth on his cock belonged to his beloved friend. A name escaped his lips. "Autolycus," Hercules sighed.

Neither man noticed the small box Autolycus had dropped from his sleeve into the feed trough in his haste to taste Hercules' flesh.


Gabrielle's nap in the stable was interrupted for the second time that afternoon by the entrance of two men. The blond bard looked up from her nest in the hayloft to see the dashing King of Thieves place his hand over Hercules' groin. Watching curiously, and then with growing amazement, she watched Autolycus unlace the hero's breeches and suck.

Had Hercules opened his eyes and looked up he would have seen the amazed young woman hugging herself and squirming slightly, as the sight of the two men indulging their private passions aroused a long-banked fire. She had no idea...

"Let's get a room," Hercules purred to the amazement of all within hearing distance. Autolycus nearly overbalanced Herc, kissing him with the taste of semen still on his tongue. "You have no idea how long I've wanted you... I mean this..." Autolycus covered the verbal slip with a caress. The pair left the stable, outwardly calm, but with an air of distraction as they went to rent a room for the rest of the day and the night.


Patting himself for reassurance, Joxer realized his precious box was gone. Frantically, he scanned the floor, hoping he'd only dropped it recently. With reluctance, Joxer admitted it was nowhere to be found. He decided to retrace his steps. He was not going to face Gabrielle without that gift.

Outside the tavern it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the harsh sunlight. Scanning the packed earth he felt tears of disappointment prick his eyes. He did not see the person who walked into him.

"What are you doing, Joxer?"

Joxer dashed tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand, and looked up to see Xena standing in front of him.

"I'm looking for something. I lost... something."

Xena barely suppressed a smile. "What does this 'something' look like? Maybe I can keep my eye out for it."

"Oh, would you?" Every pore on Joxer's body oozed gratitude. "It's a small box wrapped in green cloth. It's a present for Gabby."

"I'll tell you if I see it," Xena promised, musing how a grateful Joxer might show his appreciation, then mentally slapping herself to stay focused. One little glance at Joxer's naked attributes that time he insisted on playing ape-man and she couldn't quite shake the feeling he had some hidden talents she might appreciate knowing about.

"Thank you. I'm going to keep looking, now," Joxer insisted.

"You do that," Xena said, realizing for the umpteenth time how similar Joxer and Gabrielle really were. They were both so earnest, so steadfast, so kind hearted. Sighing, Xena returned to where she'd left her friend in the stable. She called out: "Gabrielle?"

"Xena!" Gabrielle squeaked from the hayloft, suddenly unsure where to put her hands. "Uh... Xena!" she repeated awkwardly.

"Yes. Me, Xena. You, Gabrielle. What are you so skittish about?" Xena climbed the rickety ladder to the loft.

"I just saw ... something," the bard hedged.

"It wasn't a small box wrapped in green cloth, was it?" Xena sat beside her friend.

Gabrielle looked at Xena, stunned by a moment of confusion before barreling on. "No. I saw Hercules. And Autolycus."

Xena wasn't sure where this was heading. "That's nice. What did they say."

"No. Xena, you don't understand. I saw... *all* of Hercules. And Autolycus got a better view than I did." Xena let Gabrielle talk. "They were... I mean Autolycus was... I mean... He... um... touched it, and, um..."

Blushing bright pink, Gabrielle squirmed with the memory, squeezing her thighs together. Xena could see her friend's nipples poking through the brief green top she wore.

"Autolycus... sucked... on Hercules'... uhm... "

"Manhood?" Xena completed.

Gabrielle relaxed and sighed with the completion of the thought. "Yes. Manhood. Good word. Good term. That's what happened."

"And you watched?" Xena asked.

"Well, I'm not about to interrupt them halfway and say, 'Excuse me, but I'm trying to take a nap up here!' am I?" Gabrielle huffed.

"You liked watching it, didn't you?"

"Xena... I want to do it too," Gabrielle confessed in a quiet voice.

"You want to suck on Hercules'..." Xena asked incredulously.

"Manhood? No. But," Gabrielle turned to her statuesque companion, "I would like to suck on your... ah... womanhood. I didn't know we could do things like that. I mean... it would feel good for you, wouldn't it?"

Xena could not find any words to speak as Gabrielle gently pressed her friend back into the straw, and began unlacing clothing.

"I really want to touch you. I've wanted to for a long time, but I wasn't sure why. I didn't really think that two women could do this sort of thing, but if two men can do it, why not? Will you let me touch you, Xena?"

Xena locked eyes with her gentle companion, and nodded unmistakably, before helping remove the obstructions of leather and cloth that separated their skin. Gabrielle's mouth tasted Xena and drank deeply of her skin, inhaling her scent, before descending to nuzzle the dark fur between the warrior's legs.


Joxer entered the coolness of the temple of Aphrodite. He didn't have an offering, but he knelt in front of her altar anyway.

"Hi. It's me, Joxer. I know you probably don't have much time for me. Nobody has much time for me. But I bought this really important present to give to the one woman in the world I love more than anyone, and I lost it. I don't remember losing it, but I guess if I remembered losing it, it wouldn't really be lost, would it? If you could possibly spare a few moments, would you please direct me to find my present?"

A voice rang out in the silence of the temple. "It's in the feed trough of the stable in front of the inn where you met Xena. Sheesh! Now go away!" The goddess' aggrieved voice startled Joxer, but he thanked her hurriedly, and ran back to the inn.

The stable was ordinary enough. Joxer didn't remember having been here before. He looked in the feed trough, and sure enough, half buried in the grain, the small cloth wrapped box was nestled. Joxer's heart beat rapidly as he retrieved the item, and gingerly dusted it off.

A half-muffled cry alerted Joxer he was not the only human animal among the horses stabled. Glancing up, he saw a flash of naked flesh in the loft, and the tumble of clothing spilled from the ledge. Quickly he retreated to where the couple could not see him. Unfortunately, he had now trapped himself in the stable, unless he wanted to risk being seen by the loving couple cavorting in the straw above him. He tried to calm the adrenalin-spurred thumping of his heart, and listened to the sounds of sex.

"My turn..." a husky contralto promised, and the creaking of bodies changing places sifted dust onto Joxer's upturned face. Manfully stifling a sneeze, Joxer wondered exactly who was up there. The sounds of gentle sucking and harsh breathing sent the blood flowing into his cock, and Joxer gingerly shifted the burden in his pants, wanting to touch himself. Trying not to rattle his armor too much, Joxer got a grip on himself, and squeezed gently, trying to emulate the wet rhythms he heard.

A sweet voice cried out softly. "Oh, Xena!" Joxer froze. He knew that voice. He could never forget that voice. It was Gabrielle.

Now, more than just his cock ached. Having put identities on the two bodies writhing above him was both more painful and more arousing than before. Joxer felt really stupid. Of course Gabrielle wasn't going to want him when she had THAT sort of relationship with the beautiful warrior princess.

Gabrielle began to moan, gently increasing in volume. "Oh, Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Joxer knew he could never be to Gabrielle what Xena obviously was, but it didn't mean he couldn't enjoy her pleasure. Stroking himself again Joxer began chanting in the silence of his mind, "Go, Gabrielle. Go for it. Enjoy it. Go there, Gabrielle. Go, Gabby, go!" as her voice climbed, betraying her passion to any within earshot.

Gabrielle finally came with a keening cry that Joxer enjoyed almost more than the physical release he'd enjoyed a moment before. Xena mumbled something into Gabrielle's damp flesh, and Joxer knew he had to escape before they found him here. He barely noticed the tears dripping from his chin, as he carefully placed the box on top of the pile of discarded clothing gathered at his feet, and exited, secure that neither of the two women would be paying any attention to him.

Xena climbed down the ladder to gather their clothing, and toss Gabrielle's skirt back up to her. She noticed the small box, wrapped as Joxer had described. She tucked it under her arm, as she dressed.

"Come on, Gabrielle. We've got a room waiting for us," Xena promised.

Gabrielle, dressed enough for decency, descended the ladder, half falling into Xena's arms at the bottom. "Why didn't we do this ages ago?" Gabrielle smiled giddily.

"I thought you didn't want me that way, and I sure wasn't going to force the issue. You mean too much to me," Xena expressed her love with a squeeze and a lingering kiss. "I love you."

Gabrielle sighed happily. "I love you, too."

Seeing the small bundle under Xena's arm, Gabrielle pointed. "What's that?"

"It's something Joxer said he lost. I think it's supposed to be a gift for you." Xena was curious about the contents of the box, but tried to remain casual.

"Should I open it?" Xena shrugged, but watched avidly as Gabrielle carefully unfolded the wrapping. Inside the cloth was a small gold box with a large heart engraved upon the top, with Gabrielle's name inscribed beneath it. It hinged open to reveal a crudely lettered note in Joxer's handwriting.

"I know what's in your heart, but maybe you can find room for me, too. I will wait."

Underneath the note was a small painting of Xena.

"He knows you well," Xena commented. "You're a lot alike."

"Then I hope he is as lucky as I am in finding someone who loves him so well as you love me." Gabrielle smiled at Xena.


Zeus was famous for his elaborate seductions, but Ares preferred the direct approach. The moonlight reflected off a still pool, illuminating the face of the melancholy young man. The God of War approached Joxer calmly.

"Leave your earthly cares behind. Know the love of a god."


Ares captured Joxer's mouth in a searing kiss, lifting him, pressing him against the rough bark of the lone tree standing on the bank of the pond.

"It's simple, stupid mortal. You can't have Gabrielle. Xena is not currently available to me. While they're with each other, there's no reason we can't keep ourselves amused." A hand, hot as the fires of war, sought Joxer's own, and pressed it to the burgeoning god-cock. "Understand?"

Mutely, Joxer nodded, stunned by the force of lust emanating from Ares' eyes. Joxer realized he didn't have to love someone to get turned on by them. Ares was really turning him on. Joxer ground his pelvis into the god's groin, and both moaned with the sensation.

Ares turned Joxer in his embrace, and ripped the pathetic armor from his body as though it were tinfoil. The tearing sound of leather and cloth followed. Then Joxer was naked, his flesh sublimely tortured by the bark of the tree pressing across him from nipple to hip. The intense sensations impacting his body almost drowned out the pain of knowing Gabrielle was in someone else's arms tonight.

The hot flesh of the god of war pressed against Joxer's back, and the sharp, white teeth of the god of war nibbled at his long pale neck, his shell-like ear, his graceful shoulder. "Yes!" Joxer cried out, "Take me!"

Hot, heavy hands spread the white globes of his ass, and Joxer felt a hot intrusion, sublimely lubricated with a god's pre-cum, slide into his bowels. The tip of Ares' cock nudged his prostate gland, and Joxer's cock stiffened in response. Working Joxer's cock with one hand, Ares braced himself against the tree to ram into the flesh of the willing mortal before him. Again and again, the couple pulsed, rocking against each other, until Ares orgasmed in a jetting spurt of divine cum, and Joxer followed with a lesser spew of mortal jism.

Following that earth-shattering double-climax, Joxer felt serene, as if Ares had washed all his pain away from the inside. Turning his head, Joxer saw Ares with his eyes closed, enjoying a rare moment of peace with himself.

Ares withdrew, and Joxer found his clothing returned to him, whole and in better condition than it was.

"Later," Ares growled before dissolving in a shimmering shower. Maybe, Joxer reflected, he didn't love Gabrielle as purely as he thought he did. Sated sexually, Joxer still felt somehow empty, and decided that with the moon so bright, there was no reason he couldn't keep traveling tonight. He hadn't seen Meg in a while. Joxer wondered what she was doing tonight.


In a rented room, not too far away, Meg hugged herself, aching with sexual tension. Too hot to close the window she could hear from one side, two sexual athletes knocking boots, and from the other, the soft cries of two women pleasuring each other. The room above her also housed a couple in the throes of passion. Meg masturbated herself for the fourth time that night, wondering where Joxer was when you needed him.

The End

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