Star Trek, Star Trek Voyager, and the characters in this story are the property of Paramount. Xena is the property of Studios USA and Renaissance Pictures.
You can find more stories by Robin at Robin's Rude Trek Stories
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A bit of fun inspired by a recent ET interview.
>ET: So, you have "Xena" and "Seven" together. Who would
>win if the two of you battled it out?
>Jeri: Is Lucy in here? (Laughs) You know, she's got the
>Warrior Princess thing and all, but I'm cybernectically
>enhanced. C'mon, let's be realistic.
Xena Meets Seven
By Robin Lawrie
© Nov, 1998
"Hey. Don't touch the leathers."
"Then please remove yourself from my console. I'm working here."
"Oooo, all those pretty little lights. Must be hard work." Xena slipped off the console and stood close behind the borg woman. "Mind if I watch?"
"Yes. Your presence irritates me."
"Why?" Xena reached up and plucked a few strands loose from the tightly coiled blonde hairdo. "Getting a bit warm under all that glitter? And what's with those shoes?"
"You should not be here. You are a fictional character."
"Yeah, but at least I'm not a 'sidekick'."
"I'm a valued member of the crew." Seven jerked her head away from the touch.
"Not as I see it. They all know you're Janeway's sidekick." Xena trailed a finger down the long slim neck. "And we all know what sidekicks get up to."
"On your world, perhaps." Seven's hands tapped on the glass panel. This was irrational. Why was this woman here? And why was she hanging around? And why couldn't Seven concentrate on her task?
"I think you missed something." Xena reached down, sliding a large callused hand underneath Seven's and tapping out instructions. "Shouldn't this go here, and then here?"
"How do...? Um, yes. That is correct."
"Thought so. It makes a much nicer pattern now. So can we stop now and play?"
"Yeah. Play. Have fun. Like a game or perhaps a spot of fishing?" Xena rested a hand on the back of Seven's neck. "You do know about fishing, don't you?"
"There are no fish aboard this vessel."
"Then why is it called a ship? Never mind." Xena continued to slide fingers into Seven's hair, mussing it up. She moved her hand out from under Seven's and pined it hard to the console. "How about a game of chance?"
"I enjoy working with game theory. Please proceed." Seven left her hand where it was, under Xena's. She could have moved it, sure, if she wanted to.
Xena moved her lips close to Seven's ear. "In that case, what do you bet the chances are that I can have you naked and writhing on the floor begging me and gasping for breath in under one minute?"
"Oh yeah? Wanna try me?"
Seven flexed her Borg enhanced hand under Xena's grip and felt it lift without too much trouble. "Yes. Proceed."
In one movement, Xena spun Seven around by her wrist until she was facing her. The warrior backed off a pace, then planted two stiff fingers down hard on either side of the startled Borg's neck. Seven's eyes widened as she found herself trying to suck air in through a throat that wasn't working properly. Xena smiled, reached for her chakram, studied the angles in the room and tossed the shiny metal ring into a far corner. In more than twenty rebounds the chakram crossed and recrossed the room, slicing very close to Seven's body and on each pass, taking a cut of her close fitting silvery garment. On the last pass, Xena's hand whipped out and caught it.
"Ten seconds. Don't panic, Seven. You'll be fine."
Xena reached out and peeled the torn strips of uniform away from Seven's pale flesh, raising an eyebrow as her large but perfect breasts were revealed. In another ten seconds, the borg was naked.
"Air! Can't breath!." Seven clutched at her throat, and dropped to one knee.
"Yes. I've cut off the supply of oxygen to your brain." Xena knelt down close to the borg, and held her chin in one hand. "Just say "you win Xena" and I'll make everything right again, OK?"
"But... I can't...please."
"Sure you can."
"I... You win, Xena."
In a swift and sure move, Xena struck the nerve points again, releasing Seven, and catching her as she slumped to the floor.
"Now that wasn't hard, was it?"
"You overpowered me. How?"
"Ah, that would be telling." The warrior ran a hand over the reclining woman's body as if testing the smoothness of a new weapon's edge. "Funny. It's not that cold in here, but."
Seven grinned. "Are you checking for enhancements, or just pleased to see me?"
The Captain switched off her monitor with disgusted poke of a finger, shaking her head. "Did you see that, Chakotay? I knew that woman couldn't be trusted."
The large man shifted in his seat, his legs crossed hiding the huge erection he'd developed watching the two women "interact".
"Yes Captain. Seven should be punished."
"Seven?! I'm talking about Xena! Damn it, that's MY sidekick she's screwing!"
Chakotay stared into the middle distance and nodded earnestly, as usual. But his mind was still running on more important details. Exciting details. Arousing details. Damn, but they were nice leathers.